CHEST Guidelines-A-Worse-Doctor

A-Worse-Doctor_chest

Pdf Summary

In "A Worse Doctor," Cameron Baston, MD, reflects on his emotional and professional journey as an ICU doctor, particularly emphasizing the profound impact that the past three years of the COVID-19 pandemic have had on his empathy and identity as a physician. The narrative opens with a poignant scene: a grieving couple silently pleading for solace after the impending loss of their son. Baston recalls how, three years prior, his instinct would have been to comfort them, sharing in their burden, but the emotional toll of the pandemic has left him feeling depleted and burnt out.<br /><br />The pandemic tested the limits of healthcare professionals with its unrelenting demands—constant adjustments, emotional tolls of patient deaths, and the added burden of socially distanced, technology-mediated care. For Baston, the initial sense of duty and potential faded with the prolonged struggle. Despite seeking therapy and starting to heal, he grapples with a lingering injury-like feeling from the pandemic's strain, fearing he may not regain his former capacity for compassion.<br /><br />Baston contemplates if he's become a worse doctor, recognizing a shift in his capability to engage empathetically, burdened by a newfound hesitation. He wonders if the goal should be to return to his previous state or accept that both he and the medical profession may need to evolve in light of lessons learned about burnout and resilience. As he feels the pull of his grief and fatigue, he ultimately walks away from the couple, illustrating the complex interplay between self-preservation and duty to others in the wake of unprecedented challenges.

Keywords

ICU doctor

COVID-19 pandemic

empathy

burnout

healthcare professionals

emotional toll

therapy

compassion fatigue

self-preservation

resilience